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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?